What the hell happened to Captain Hook?

I think it’s a pretty universal experience, since the first child sat down in front of a black and white television to watch “Howdy Doody”, that there are shows that parents hate and others which are generally tolerable.  In my home there are even some shows which are completely off limits such as Barney, Caillou (which I feel is universally hated by all parents), and Spongebob.  But there is a special category of shows which bother me, so excuse me as I go on a bit of a rant.

Many of these shows are based on properties that existed when I was a child myself.  But there is one franchise I want to specifically talk about: Peter Pan.  It’s a Disney classic in every sense, based on a play that was based on a book.  We all know the story of the boy who never grew up, lost boys, Wendy, Captain Hook, Tinkerbell and Neverland.  Looking at it as an adult: Peter is a massive A-hole, Tink is a possessive psychotic girlfriend, lots of racial stereotypes and attempted child murder.

Now 2 spin-offs of sort came from this film (I’m not counting the unnecessary sequel “Return to Neverland”) and they are “Jake and the Neverland Pirates” and Disney Fairies which are a series of straight to DVD films about a pre-Peter Tinkerbell.

I’ll start with Jake…oh Jake.  Look, I get it.  This is meant to be an educational and interactive show in the same vein as Dora the Explorer with Neverland as the back drop.  However in doing so they neutered one of the baddest villians in the Disney universe: Captain Hook.

 What.  The hell.  Is that?  Does that look like the baddest pirate to sail the seven seas?  No, it doesn’t.  In the original film Hook remains in Neverland for the express purpose of taking revenge on Peter FOR CUTTING OFF HIS F***ING HAND!!  Of course when we say revenge we mean child murder.  What about now?  Pan is gone.  All you got is Jake and his crew looking for treasure.  Why are you still there? You’re whole purpose for staying in Neverland is gone.  Go, leave!  I mean, i guess he’s trying to steal the treasure Jake and his friends are gathering but how many times can you fail at stealing from children before you either call it quit or actually murder them and steal it that way?  Don’t get me started on Hook having love interests or a mom who keeps him from being too bad.

Now I probably have less of an issue with this spin off series since this is more a prequel for Tinkerbell.  In this series we follow Tink and her fairy friends on a number of shenanigan filled adventures.  Also her name is actually a reference to her “talent” which every fairy had, apparently Pixie Hollow is big on the caste system.  My thing with this series is I continually wait for that movie where she goes from loveable Tinkerbell to psycho possessive girlfriend Tinkerbell.  What finally pushes her over the edge?  That moment she becomes so attatched to Peter she is willing to murder young girls to keep her man.  I think THAT would make for some compelling and dark viewing.

The world’s a little dark and it’s worth exposing kids to a little of that via the media they consume.  After all truly great heroes are made by great, complex antagonists.  Then again, it is Disney Junior, maybe I shouldn’t overthink it so much.

Lets give Trump a chance and/or it’s the end of American democracy as we know it and we are all going to die!!!!

Now I’ve never been one of those who bought in to the image of Trump as some sort of reincarnated Hitler.  He is many things. Most of them should never have earned him a place in the Oval Office.  Yet certain political and societal forces came together and lifted an unqualified circus monkey to the highest office in the land.
And now everyone is losing their minds over it.  Or their telling you to stop crying about losing and buck up.  Come together.  Support the new POTUS.  “Give Donald Trump a chance.”  And, honestly we should.  Look, the man hasn’t even fully built his cabinet and he’s only named two people to positions in his administration.  Now, one of those people may or may not be a white supremacist depending on who you ask which seems to have sunk the whole “lets give him a chance” argument for many people.  But for me, I’m still curious to see who else is going to end up serving in a Trump administration.  Now don’t kid yourself it’s going to be a heavily Republican, heavily conservative bunch, and while that might not jive with your personal political views don’t act all surprised by it and reach for your pitchforks and torches.  Take a deep breath.  Calm yourself.  Give him a chance.

But that isn’t a blank check Trump dudebros (I saw someone on Facebook use this term, thought it was hilarious, so I’m stealing it).  For 8 years conservatives held Barack Obama to the fires, sometimes unnecessarily so, all while Fox News was screaming about how the sky was falling everyday.  So don’t get all bent out of shape now that the tables are turned.  And this 45th POTUS said some pretty horrible things during the course of his campaign.  About women, mexicans and muslims.  Made fun of a disabled person.  Openly talked about infringing on freedom of the press when they said negative things.  I mean you really can go on and on and when you take all that into account can you really blame people for being scared?  For protesting? (even if too many of those protestors didn’t even vote, seriously guys?)

Perhaps the most terrfying thing, for myself anyways, is the unknown we now face.  We have NO idea what a Trump presidency will look like.  I don’t think the Donald even knows.  Did you see him meeting with Obama and Paul Ryan the other day?  That was the face of a man who just got a long hard look into his future and realizes he is WOEFULLY unprepared.  And that’s the Donald Trump I think of now.  The campaign was a show (a freak show).  Now this is cold hard reality and we’re all a little scared and nervous, including our future President.

So to the Hillary supporters I would say this: this is not forever.  It will pass in time.  But if you want to and feel compelled to, get involved in the causes you are most passionate about and are most afraid for whether it be LGBT rights, reproductive rights, environmentalism, and then go vote in EVERY election.  Local, state, national, all of them.

To Trump supporters, well, the ball is in your court.  This is your guy and he has a Republican Congress backing him up.  So make America great again (whatever that means, I still think it sounds as idiotic as “Hope and Change”) but I challenge you to hold them accountable.  And should the idea of cropping civil rights ever be kicked around by our new Commander and Chief, I expect every one of you to be the first to swat his hand and firmly say “NO!”

Because I believe that those who chose to come to these shores and be a part of this experiment we call the United States of America came for one of two main reasons (or both): Prosperity and Freedom.  The promise of America that anyone can find their success here and the guarantee that here you can be who you are without fear or discrimination.  We haven’t always been great at these things as a country, but we’re getting there.  As the character Pops from “Luke Cage” would say:

“Always forward.”

But then that’s just my personal opinion, I could be wrong.